| Life comes full circle................ |
[Aug. 15th, 2008|10:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
So life has been interesting lately.
I think I'm off probation at work. I had that stupid meeting with Erica and Larry in which Larry said all of one sentence about my efforts to improve (i.e. become a better drone). The sentence was something like, "Well you have improved a lot, that much is obvious." Then he went into a 15 minute rant about three things he had noticed he didn't like.
It's like why do they always focus on stupid shit and not on how good I'm doing? It doesn't inspire me to do better that's for sure. The only other compliment he gave was that I do more and better incident reports than anyone else. Well, no duh. I actually had enough ovaries to tell them that I was not the one trying to be "below the radar" around there but that I had picked that up from other co-workers. I'm sure that just passed in one ear and out the other but yeah. Then at the end of the meeting Larry said he and Erica were going to talk and get back to me by the end of the day. They never got back to me. But I'm still working there so I assume they have decided to keep me, for now.
Things at that job have gotten somewhat better. However the kids are still off the damn hook. I never expected that to change so eh. Larry and Erica still get on my fucking nerves. There was a group two weeks ago in which 3 co-workers told me really positive things about my work. One of them was Larry. That made me happy. But it's not enough. I still feel I am treated unfairly and not respected around there. I need to get out of there but I haven't yet figured a way out....
I had an interview with Our Family Coalition for their East Bay Coordinator position last Friday. So far no word. I'm not shocked. I didn't get a really strong feeling from the interview. Apparently they had a gazillion people to interview. There is going to be a second interview with the Executive Director. I'm not too sure I'll make it to the second interview. I am very qualified for that job-- I just got the feeling I was not a "fit" in their eyes. Whatever.
That job would be cool-- cause it's organizing LGBT families and you make $35-40 thousand a year! Half of it is IN SF-- which would suck..but eh. At least their office is close to Bart. I am not going to get upset if I never hear back from them because I am interested in finding satisfying and gratifying work in which my work environment is positive and the people I work with respect, admire, and appreciate me and my work. If they don't see me for the gem I am.. that's their bad.
I am finally going to get my upper lip fuzz..as I like to call it..removed. I signed up at SF Pride to learn more info about laser hair removal and they gave me $400 off a $600 procedure. I've been so busy though I keep putting it off. I'm a bit scared too. It's like getting a bad sun burn. Plus you have to do 6 sessions over something like 10 months (10 weeks apart). I've always want laser hair removal. I'm so done with plucking and waxing. It hurts like a bitch. Anyway... it's good news.
So now for the best news in months....So remember how in my last post I said something may be brewing with my boss at the Lighthouse? Well, that fully developed and came full circle. I met with Jim, who is the head of the Lighthouse Board and basically spilled the beans about my boss and how I felt about her. He said he was not surprised by most of what I said-- he had heard it before from other people. But the things he had not heard before... were things the Board were able to bring to her attention. Basically Jim told me that PK should not have even been meeting with me nor telling me what to do because that would make her my boss and me their employee. I'm a contract/consultant. So essentially PK was breaking federal law. She knew full well what she was doing because she said all these secretive things when we started meeting and then acted as if this was just normal. She started telling me what to do and saying I HAD to do it. Ugh! So Jim told me she was full of it.
Also he was upset that I was no longer being paid. He said the Board had no idea. He said they would instruct her to write grants for the youth program. Jim also said all I have to do is make the youth happy. HAHA! He said to report to the Board not her and to stop meeting with her. It was like... thank goddess!!! I wish I would have done this a long time ago..but I was too afraid.
Well, then they told PK to leave me alone...and there have been other developments that I still can't discuss here. Soon everyone will know and then I can truly sing, "Ding dong the witch is dead." I feel a great pressure has been lifted off me. I can now run the program how I see fit. Yay!!!!!! Creative control and freedom to do things the youth want. Now I can run wild and make this program soar. ;o)
And all I havta say is KARMA IS A BITCH-- SHE'S A BIG OLE' BITCHY BITCH!!!! Now if only I can see my bosses at the group home get their just desserts as well.... Hummmmm..........
Tomorrow is the East Bay Pride Picnic..which is at my favorite childhood swim place, Cull Canyon in Castro Valley. Then on Sept. 6th is the youth dance, "Lighthouse Luau." Fun times.
Anyway... I don't think I'm up to take classes right now. I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't think this is the right time. I am working too much and it’s too stressful. I can't do hard ass classes that stress me out on top of it. Not to mention getting to and from class with my schedule and all. I just have to re-evaluate next quarter and see what I can do.
I need to make more time to exercise. I think my whole life would improve in quality if I did that.
Rachel and I have been in our apartment for a year now. I really feel like we've created a home and life together. We are working on improving and growing together.
I am still working on the restaurant idea... and I am starting to think its time to begin my own memoir. I have so much I could write about. So far in my 27 years I've lived a completely insane life. Enough to write 10 books-- like Augusten Burroughs. I will start by writing about things that I've been through that I feel are important to write about and then see how they connect together. Hummm.....I think I have something to say that is unique. From being bi-polar to being bisexual..and then gay… to being in an abusive inter-racial bi-national relationship… to being fat..an activist… working with people from all walks of life and youth at every age… living in a dysfunctional family with very distinct personalities and disorders of every stripe from my two brothers, sister, and mother and father…and so much more. When I look back at my life—it’s amazing I came out as well-balanced and sane as I am. I think I have something to say..and give to the world. I wonder if anyone else agrees… or will agree. Humm.
That is all for now.
<3 tina |
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| A Nicer Message to Anyone trying to read my blog! |
[Nov. 17th, 2005|02:58 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | John Mayer..... | ] |
Ok I've now made all my entries for the past two years friends only.
Seriously, if you want to read them, just let me know by emailing me at alliance4sj@yahoo.com or iming me at radicalmuse4u and I will allow you to read them depending on who you are, of course. ;o)
Even if you think I may hate you, try your luck, you might just get lucky! ;o)
I am a compassionate person, really I am. :o)
Wanna know what I've been thinking??? Read my blogs or ask me! :o)
<3 Tina |
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| this is to inform all you losers..... that....... |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|10:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | indie rules | ] |
I am making my blog seeable to friends only. Which means if you added me as a freind thinking I was your friend..when I ain't.. too bad for you. You no longer will be able to dig dirt up on me to sabatoge and smear me with. Yes I'm giving up liberty for security and it feels good in this instance.
So if you are a *real* freind and want to still read my posts email me and let me know... we can work a little something something out. Otherwise...buzz off and go bother someone who deserves it. For reals dood.
Peace Out People--Tina |
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